Pure Insanity

I feel like I am going in 50 million directions. We are moving the end of summer, but to who knows where. I am supposed to go live with my mother in law, but i'm not 100% sure this is going to happen. Chris has orders to Korea. I have to pack the house. I started a little bit today. I don't have enough boxes. yadda yadda. Do you see a pattern here? I can't even stay on one subject long enough to explain! I feel out of my mind. I am so stressed I can't concentrate on anything. I tried to scrap, hoping it would relieve stress, but it just makes me feel unworthy of most of the other scrappers. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. It shouldn't matter to anyone else but me. It's my books, scrap how I want. I just want my pages to be out of this world. ::sigh:: We still do not know our next base. C'mon guys, give us our follow on!!! If we have orders back to Alaska, I am thinking of just moving back while Chris is in Korea. I've done it before. It was hard, but I did it. I'm not that weak. We were going to move in with MIL so we could get all our bills paid off and be debt free when he gets back from Korea. Not so sure this will happen now. MIL was suggesting we buy or rent a house in WV. To me, this meant she wasn't too thrilled with us living with her for a year, but wanted us close by. Chris says it isn't what she was meaning, but I just don't know. Would it be easier if we just went to our next base, wherever that is? It could be SC, AK, FL, etc etc. WHO KNOWS where we are going. That is enough to drive a person insane! Knowing since Dec we are moving, but have NO CLUE where!!!!! We want to buy a house at our next base, also. Umm, kinda hard to house shop (on the internet, of course) if you do not have a destination. If we move ourselves to WV, I have to pack the entire house and pay for it ourselves. We are waiting on some friends to finish their move into town, then we get their boxes. That is another 2-3 weeks or so. I can wait, no big deal, but yes, I am in a hurry to start packing. I get tired very easily and I need to start now or I will never get this house packed. If we let the AF move us, we have to go to the next base. THEN, the AF would pack us. Do I wait for a follow on to see if we want to move to the next base or start packing now? OMG, I am going crazy, seriously!!! Hurry up.. wait.. hurry up.. wait. Will we have enough money to move ourselves? I need someone to tell me what to do, haha. We have been in this situation before, and at the last minute decided to move courtesy of the AF. I hate waiting until the last minute to figure out our lives! I want it all planned and ready. See, if we get orders back to AK and we move to WV for a year, the following year (after Chris gets back from Korea) we will not be getting to AK until Sept. School will have already started in AK and Courtney will miss the first month. This could be for anywhere, actually. The AF denied Chris' request to leave for Korea a month early. They don't give a S&*% about families. They say "family first", but they could care less. I have become very bitter over the years toward the AF. I am thankful Chris has a steady job with a steady paycheck, but I am so bitter for things that have happened. I hate to be this way. Pride, they have diminished my pride. I try to care, but when you are so bitter, it's hard to care. Ok, so I got off track a little. oops! So now...... I try to figure out what to do with our lives. Move to WV, move to the next base. THere are good and bad points to both. ARGH, why can't it be easier??

**edit**
Good news if we go back to AK!! They have a LSS in Fairbanks! I just found it on the web and made me oh so happy. Chris put AK first on his dream sheet (a list of bases we 'want' to go to), then SC, then who knows. I can't remember all the bases he put down. I just know he put AK first. We have been there twice, so I figure they won't let us go back, but you never know. Sometimes I want to go back and sometimes I don't. I never really hated AK, I just hated being lonely. Not much has changed in NM, so I figure this is just a way of life. We rarely have family visit us, we have to make the effort to go visit them. My sister Joanna did visit us in AK, as well as Chris' dad and sister, Leslie. Leslie also came to NM to see us last year. In almost 7 years, we've had 3-4 visits??? But we are expected to go home and visit every time there is a break in school or summer or Christmas. We just can't afford it. And our families seem to get upset if we can't come in. Plus, with all of our animals, it's hard to do anything with them. Boarding is so expensive and taking them with us is a pain. Ok, just wanted to mention the LSS in AK, got off track again.